From Pain to Freedom: A Transformational Journey of Letting Go

I stood at the banks of the Triveni Sangam, the air thick with devotion, my heart racing as I prepared to take the sacred dip. The rhythmic chants, the chaotic surge of millions pressing forward — it was overwhelming, extraordinary. The water seemed to call me, thousands of birds flying overhead. The weight of the past clung to me like damp clothes but I could see the sun rise over the horizon, bringing hope and transformation, as I offered my prayers.

Now was my chance. Could we ever truly let go? Standing at the Triveni Sangam, I was about to find out.

As I thought about everything I went through to get here in this moment, my life in a snapshot flashed before my eyes and a long-forgotten memory surfaced in my consciousness.

Tomorrow is another day, or is it?

I always sought refuge in books. While family gatherings overflowed with laughter and the aroma of home-cooked food, I searched for quiet corners. One evening, as a teenager lost in thought, I stumbled upon a title that would stay with me — Gone with the Wind. I knew nothing of the American Civil War, but one line from the book lodged itself in my mind as a representative of the protagonist’s resilience in the face of challenges: ‘Tomorrow is another day.’ And with that phrase she let go off all worries, making room for “new hope” tomorrow.

But while Scarlett O’Hara found hope in ‘tomorrow,’ I often found myself stuck in ‘yesterday’.

Decades later, I found myself asking — how do people move on from overwhelming pain, confusion, and loss? I want to believe that “Tomorrow is another day” yet I could see that “Yesterday” holds me back. How does one truly move on? How do we learn to let go?

Buddha’s story

Sometimes I found myself praying — O Lord! I really hope no one has to suffer the pain I suffer. While I hope no one suffers, the truth is there are many more who suffer much more than we do.

I could remember the story of the grieving lady who had once approached Buddha to help relieve her pain and bring back her dead child. Buddha listened to her and gave her one task.

Find one home where there was someone who was not grieving. If she could do that, he would bring back the child.

As the tale goes, after visiting every home the lady realized that there was no such home — and with that realization arose detachment and knowledge in her heart. The transient nature of the world and our need to constantly let go became obvious. She could now transcend the pain.

The Challenge with Pain

The first challenge though in our journey of letting go is that pain and lamentation are very addictive. A need for safety can quickly lead to deep self-absorption, which without any real knowledge of the self, can prevent us from seeing beyond our immediate grief. What someone can heartlessly label a pity party; yoga knowledge will more accurately state that lamentation can be more difficult than happiness to give up.

Still as my heart rebelled, I thought …we come into the world with some hopes, dreams, aspirations. That’s what keeps us going — doesn’t it?

Pain has a strange hold on us. We cling to it, sometimes even unconsciously, as if letting go means losing a part of ourselves. I wrestled with this — if my pain was all I had left of what I lost, who would I be without it?

It was clear that knowledge alone wouldn’t be enough — I needed a practice, a framework to help me navigate my emotions. It was in this turmoil that I turned to my old companion — the Bhagavad Gita.

Bhagavad Gita — Some help from my old friend

I have always carried a copy of the Bhagavad Gita with me and I knew now was the time to turn the pages. As I made my way to the second chapter, two foundational qualities of spiritual progress highlighted in there caught my attention:

duḥkheṣv anudvigna-manāḥ sukheṣu vigata-spṛhaḥ

One who is not disturbed in mind even amidst the threefold miseries or elated when there is happiness.

I thought the undisturbed mind was the product of peaceful circumstances, but the Bhagavad Gita was challenging me by saying that an undisturbed mind is what yogis have amidst all kinds of disturbance or threefold miseries i.e miseries caused by the body, mind, others, environment, etc.

I knew I needed a change.

The Search for Freedom and the Baby Elephant

The baby elephant was tied to a small tree with a little rope. He tried really hard to break free but had to finally give up after trying a lot. Years later, when he was a giant and powerful elephant, the owner still tied him to the now small tree with that little rope because the now big elephant didn’t know he could break free now.

Like the elephant, I too had unknowingly been bound by the past. The Bhagavad Gita (18.63) says, ‘Deliberate on this fully, and then do as you wish.’ True yoga is not just physical postures but a shift in consciousness — breaking free from limiting beliefs and choosing our path with wisdom. Sometimes our journey begins at the point we realize we need to break free — not just from our sorrow, but from the belief that we can’t break free.

A place of transition

I could hear the Bhagavad Gita podcast in the background

We may be very happy with our situation. But material nature will not allow it. It won’t last.

Sometimes we don’t want to let go but powerful time will push us into a corner and take it all away. Just like in an emergency landing, you must leave everything behind if you want to survive. That’s why the Yoga texts describe this world as dukhalyam asashvatam — A place of suffering and impermanence.

Knowing the nature of the territory you are in — helps shape the right strategy for challenging circumstances. Sometimes it is truly best to just stop trying to make it work and let go control. Like when you are standing on ice that is cracking, you can only jump to the next spot, next opening you see.

I made a prayer “Krishna, please let me see what I do not want to see”

The Maha Kumbh — the Ganges Calling

And so, in my search for answers, life presented me with an invitation—an opportunity to step into the unknown, to let go not just in thought, but in action.

I heard about a big spiritual gathering at Prayag Raj in India — The Maha Kumbh. It was a bit far — but seemed like it was “The” spiritual vortex every yogi in town was headed to.

My mind protested — No, no — you need to stay, sort things out. But perhaps all those prayers to let the mind venture where it dared not, had started to kick in.

As I read more about the special confluence of the three Holy Rivers — Ganga, Yamuna and Saraswati that everyone was headed to, I felt my calling. It reminded me of how the once emperor of the planet, Parikshit, had faced a life and death crisis and in that moment, he had turned to the assembly of sages at the bank of Ganges for wisdom and direction. Perhaps this was my opportunity to venture.

The First Step — Your Endeavor

In any great transformation, the first step always is your small endeavor. Are you willing to take the first step was the question I needed to answer? 330 million people in a tiny city — I was nervous to say the least. There were so many unanswered questions — how will I get the flight? How will I survive the traffic? After deliberating back and forth I realized — there is only 1 question I really need to answer.

Do I want to do it or not? And if the answer is yes, then I just need to take the next small step.

Just like for letting go, it’s not the details that matter. What matters is am I willing to or not.

The Second Step — Divine Intervention

My endeavor did land me in India but what lay ahead was actually much harder than the hurdles I had crossed to get here.

Hours of traffic jams, accidents, lack of accommodation — so much unknown.

I just had to pray, and this is true for most things in life. We must pray for strength, direction, guidance — an opening!

Our own strength known in yoga texts as purushartha — will get us just so far. Every great endeavor needs some Daiva — divine intervention for success.

Spiritual life just on your own strength can be dry and dreary, but if there is someone guiding you from within the heart, it becomes a dynamic exchange.

That’s what prayer really is — it’s not an opportunity to present a shopping list you don’t need to pay for. It is our attempt to access that inner compass with an open mind.

So, I used my prayer beads, and thought, well I will just chant my mantra and see how far I get. I will leave home and if I have to fail and turn back, that’s ok, but I will try. And it worked.

The combination of detachment from the temporary and the determination to access the eternal, can get us through anything in life.

The Final Step — Higher Taste, Something for the Heart

But, we are hearty souls with emotions and feelings. What do we do with all that if all we do is to stay detached?

As I continued my journey onwards to the Kumbh and deeper into the Bhagavad Gita — I found in there the ultimate key to letting go

Param Dristva Nivartate

When you taste something higher, you automatically let go of what is lower.

That was it — that was my key. It’s not that I need to become some detached, emotionless, stoic. Rather I need to find a love that lasts — an attachment that grows, not wanes with the passage of time. A higher taste.

Letting Go — A Little Trust

As I closed in on the Triveni Sangam — The confluence of these three mighty rivers, I could feel my heart race. Our instructor asked us to leave behind everything including our phones & wallets, as we get off the boats. I thought one wrong move and I could be stranded here forever.

This final move required some trust in the instructor. As I left behind everything in the little rickety boat and jumped into the divine waters — the realization struck me, a lot of how far we go depends on who we put our faith, our trust. But trust we must, to go beyond the grip of our limited vision of our experiences.

Hindus know that after death, your ashes will be submerged in these very waters. Being able to make that choice while you are still breathing and leaving behind everything to touch these waters — has an impact to your heart that I will never forget. A distinct realization, that both this world, it’s achievements and its problems are ultimately just temporary. Transient in nature.

So, live simply.

Life is a game of passes. Pass the ball and pass the pain as soon as it reaches you. Ultimately, when it’s time to get off the ship, we have to leave everything behind. So why hold on so tight to that which hurts.

I reflected on Krishna’s words in the Bhagavad Gita (2.13) about the impermanence of life: ‘Just as the soul passes from childhood to youth to old age, so too does it pass into another body at death. The wise are not bewildered by this change.’ This wisdom reminded me that holding on to pain is like trying to stop the flow of a river — true freedom comes when we surrender to the divine flow of life.

In that moment, I let go — not of challenges, but of the fear that they would break me. And in doing so, I stepped into true freedom.